woensdag 11 april 2012

Lollies

Mijn schoonzus voelt zich niet op haar gemak. Ze zit een beetje in elkaar gedoken tegenover ons, met een plastic zakje op haar schoot. Ze zucht. "Jullie weten," begint ze, "dat mijn ouders nogal ouderwetse mensen zijn. Ouderwets en religieus." Dat klopt, dat weten we. Ouderwets, religieus en stapelgek, maar verder best aardig. "Ik weet niet hoe ik het moet zeggen", gaat ze verder. Die indruk hadden we al. Nog maar eens zuchten. "Kijk, jullie zijn al een hele poos getrouwd, maar jullie hebben geen kinderen. Ik bedoel, dat moet je zelf weten natuurlijk, het zijn mijn zaken niet. Ik zeg dus tegen mijn moeder, "ma, dat zijn jouw zaken niet". En zo is het toch? Zijn onze zaken niet. Maar mijn ouders zijn toch naar een tempel geweest."

Nou, als dat alles is, so what? In Europa, en vooral in Amerika, bidden allerlei religieuze lieden om de haverklap voor hun medemensen, soms zelfs voor mij, en dat haalt gelukkig nooit iets uit. Het kost overigens ook niks, voor hen niet en voor mij niet, dus wat mij betreft doen ze maar wat ze niet laten kunnen. Collega Dennett heeft de gewoonte om mensen die beweren voor hem hebben gebeden te vragen of ze niet meteen een geit hadden kunnen offeren, als zijn lot ze dan echt zo na aan het hart ligt, maar zover ben ik tot op heden niet gegaan. Dat die twee bejaarde ouders van S. naar een tempel zijn geweest om een of andere vooroorlogse bosgod te vragen zich met mijn huwelijksvruchtbaarheid te bemoeien schaadt me toch niet in de verste verte? Maar het verhaal was nog niet ten einde.

"Ik moet jullie dit geven", zegt ze, het zakje omhoog houdend. "Dit, eh, dit...helpt. Als je dat wil, natuurlijk, anders niet. Ik bedoel, niet echt natuurlijk, maar dat denken mijn ouders. En het gaat ze niks aan ook, dat zei ik nog, maar ze luisteren dus niet. Je moet het ze maar niet kwalijk nemen, het is goed bedoeld. Vat het maar religieus op, ofzo, ok?" Ze geeft het zakje aan K. Ze bloost erbij. K. kijkt in het zakje en begint onbedaarlijk te giechelen. "Mag ik het ook humoristisch opvatten?", vraagt ze. Dat mag. Ik kijk en zie drie lollies. Dat denk ik tenminste, maar bij nadere inspectie hebben niet zomaar lollies gekregen. Eerder lullies:

44 opmerkingen:

Peter KM zei

:-)

Marjon zei

Haha Ralf,

Je weet wel dat er uitgeverijen zijn die dit soort schrijverij uitgeven?

Groet Marjon.

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Ralf?

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